Ms. Ellay

suivez-moi

3.07.2010

abandon.

sorry that i left.
i couldn't be on blogger anymore,
i may stop by from time to time but if you haven't already,
you should move on over to tumblr land!

<3 ms.ellay

3.06.2010

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/msellay

2.28.2010

formspring.me

Are you afraid to fall in Love

no, i just haven't done it before. its not easy for me. i believe in fate so it will happen when its supposed to, no point in rushing it right?

Ask me anything

2.23.2010

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/msellay

2.21.2010

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/msellay

5.20.2009

welcome back?

i couldnt stay away from blogger.
i missed you guys! lol
im considering coming back but its not for sure.
less than a week at home and less than 2 weeks till summer school and my apt with WIRELESS internet!!!!
hope everyone's finals are going / have gone well and that summer 2009 will be one to remember!

4.07.2009

goodbye.

i'm leaving blogger.
i'm still gonna blog, just not at msellay.blogspot.com
email me @ ms.ellay@vzw.blackberry.net for more details.

4.02.2009

its too early in the morning for this mess...

"Goonette" Trailer


i have no words to say about this...

3.30.2009

again.

this hasn't happened to me in awhile.
actually i remember the last time it happened this way.
it was 2006,
early july.
and i'm still not really over THAT.
the internet is the worst way to find out bad news.
i guess this time its my fault.
i brought this upon myself in some way.
just hope that karma pays me back for this.
i don't want to be depressed again.
needless to say, today wasn't a good day.

i need some ice cream.

3.29.2009

i'm me! who are you?

reflecting on the past few months i've come to realize that i've unconsciously been untrue to myself. i've been trying to stop cussing, tried to pretty much go back to the way i was when i was younger. but that's the point, i'm not a little girl. i say bad words, a lot. im not saying that i curse in church or around children, but sometimes nothing seems to get my thoughts across like a few curse words mixed in (ex. un-f***ing-believable). plus all my hype songs have curse words in it...have you ever heard the edited version of jay-z's ignorant sh*t? it sounds horrible. epic fail.
that's just an example of the ways i've been trying to censor myself.
the sad part is i've been altering my own wants and needs for years based on who i'm around, who i like, etc.
i mean its not always bad to alter a decision because of understanding someone elses view, like the tattoo i've wanted for like 6 years.
i'm terrified of needles but i still want it.
but someone made me rethink getting it ever. because they dont like/ want a tattoo.
they have some valid points, when i'm 50 will i still want this tattoo? but on the other hand, i want it in a place where when i'm 50, nobody will be seeing it (my hip ya nasties) but mayb ill just stick with my piercings and ill rethink it after i get my belly button pierced (whenever i work up the nerve to do that)

i refuse to conform to what other people want me to be.
i believe i have enough varied interests to get along with most people without compromising myself.
there are still things i want to learn to do and things i want to learn about, but i know myself.

i hope you know yourself too.

i find it sad that so many people compare themselves to others and doubt themselves so much. we need to stop trying to be what we arent. sure i have a million things i could change but i accepted these things early on and moved on. i wanna lose some weight so i work out. i have a sweet tooth so i bake. im cold and lonely so i get a dog. if there is no solution for your problems, stop stressing about it, that only creates more problems.
remember that just because one person doesn't find you smart, or attractive, or interesting, doesen't mean the rest of the world will agree with them. (the same goes for those who arent your cup of tea)
lets be true to ourselves in 2009, k?

3.28.2009

ramblings.

i have so much to say and yet i dont feel like saying it.
im starting to feel like im censoring myself on my own blog and i dont wanna do that so im thinking about starting over with a new blog. maybe not.
happy earth day!
i really cant wait to go home in a month. if ur in LA and wanna hang out, hit me up because i always get mad when people flake on me and stop inviting people to chill.
as it is, i plan to spend my brief stay at the beach as much as possible (i got pale!) and i will def spend time with taylor, imelda, brandon, ashley, alisha, and chris.
im a go with the flow kinda person so dont assume im busy if u wanna chill.
as always im supposed to be writing a paper but i cant focus on sociological theory when i have things like twitter, fb, and blogger to distract me. im so glad i got my computer back tho.
well im rambling. ill post something deep when i finally finish this paper.

3.16.2009

blog.

i kno i dont post all the time.
what i have to say isnt always interesting.
or nice.
or funny.
and it doesnt always come out right.
or make me look cool.
but this is me.
thats all ive ever been.
sometimes im more censored and sometimes im less censored.
sometimes my days are so full that i have no time to blog.
other times my days are so boring, i have nothing to blog about.
im sorry if you followed me expecting something different.
i blog for my benefit and not yours.
i still love you tho!

updates.

its over.
i didnt win.
im not that sad.
i faced my fears and put myself out there and that's more than i can say for most people.
i appreciate everyones words of encouragement and the things people did to help.
even if it makes me sound like a diva or self absorbed, i did it mostly by myself.
of course my family did what they could, my campaign members helped here and there, and of course mariaah was the biggest help of all.
if you want something done you have to do it yourself tho. im not going to be bitter. just honest.
it was a learning experience. it reminded me that it is always especially true that whatever can go wrong will and that when it rains, it pours.
apparently i have an attitude problem. not much i can say about that at this point.
moving on.


time for a new project. as always im going to work on myself. im going to work on clothing design, school, and prepare for home.

first matter of new business is to address an issue that seems to be growing in the community.
luckily i haven't been a victim of this type of crime, but i've heard of it enough to feel the need to address it.
guys (or girls who get down like that, i don't judge), when did it become cool to BITE it? i'm not talking about a nibble....im talking about that full on "nom nom nom" action. again, i have not been a victim of this but i have friends who have and now that i'm aware of it i hear it in songs tout le temps.
i never noticed it or heard of it happening until i moved down hear so mayb its a southern thing. recently i was asked if they could "bite it", i promptly said no (because that is not appealing and i'm celibate).
why would you want to?
who is giving this advice? would you guys like it if we went on a chomping spree?
didnt think so, so just take my advice.

thank you for your time.

more to come soon

this has been a public service announcement.

3.06.2009

5am

So its 5:30 in the morning (que mariaah singing pretty ricky...) and not only am I awake, I'm also out the house and in the car. This is about to be routine for the rest of the weekend. * but don't you need to be ready for campaign week?* thanx for remembering! Why yes. Campaign week kicks off sunday night. At midnight. Th
at means I will be up and out the house from 4:30am till like 3:00am and
then I have class at 9:20 the next day. Sounds like
fun Rii?...not really. So if I don't blog for the next week, don't be alarmed...yet. If I'm not on twitter either, I may have killed myself. Jk

3.04.2009

calm.

there is always a brief period during these extremely stressful times when i stop being stressed. {to an extent of course}
with so much going on, how am i supposed to decide what should stress me the most? to prioritize my stress just sounds silly and i refuse to do it so i will just have to brush it all off. im still concerned with everything, but sometimes there is too much thinking and not enough doing. so im not gonna exclusively concentrate on school, or boys, or the campaign, or friends, or any issues with the law i run into. im not gonna censor myself to make you or you or you happy.
this is my blog and i do what i want.
and dont you forget it.

all i gotta do is stay alive, take care of my dog, and deal with one thing at a time. {mayb two, i like to multitask}
in two weeks i can go back to normal. win or lose life goes on.
but im not gonna change because someone says i should. ive worked hard to get to where i am, and although im not perfect, i like the path im on.
so please dont get in my face with petty things.
if you aint part of the solution, your part of the problem, right?