blah.

not even back and its already started again. who am i gonna have to find to keep me from feeling alone this time?
i'm not trying to seclude myself, you're just never including me in anything. i'm gonna try to get better and not ignore you or purposely not including you just because you do it to me.

instead of complaining, im gonna spend time with my dog. im gonna work out. im gonna go to work. im gonna study.
we can continue to live so close but yet so far.

weekend.

GREAT weekend.
i didnt have to work
i went shopping
free slurpie day mission with michael (we went to @ least 5 7-11's in less than an hr)
burnt mission with erin & co.

thoughts on a wednesday.

Ii'm sick of right now. Is that bad? I'm just ready for some kind of future. I'm ready for graduation. A real job, one I can support myself with. I'm ready to be ready for love. And I understand that I can't skip over everything, but I'm ready to go 2 school in the fall and start being a cocktail waitress and having a new puppy to love. LA just seems so...unproductive. I'm not making enough money, half of my friends are flakes and most of the ppl I can get to see are the ones I can only take in small doses. One good thing is the block is back and I'm getting closer with one friend in particular.
Oh and I get a discount @ victorias secret (just cause I'm celibate doesn't mean I can't update my lingerie collection).
So until I'm on a plane back 2 the middle of lameville with my new puppy, I guess I should lay low and concentrate on not starting another situation to obsess over.
I need a new book to read. Any suggestions?

disappointment.

i'm ready to leave. i'm not gonna say i haven't been having fun, but overall i'm disappointed. i feel unproductive, my job sucks and i have horrible hrs. its not paying me enough. i need to pay for a dog and a trip to ny. plus, this city is reminding me of old disappointments, and i'm starting to think i have another one on the way if i don't leave soon. this is the product of me not having enough to do out here. i think too much. and im getting fat. i need to work on my patience. thats gonna be next years resolution.
i have a lot more to say, but i don't kno how to say it, or if i want to say it so i won't.
ciao!

oh! erin and i are going to have a garage sale soon and a few car washes so support us! thaaaanx

Happy 4th of July!

this has never been my favorite holiday, but in the past 2 years i've missed it! if u grew up with me than you remember the pool parties with the parents and the little kids (who are all in HIGH SCHOOL now) the water fights, tag, and of course the fireworks.
2 years ago i missed it because i was on a plane to Paris and last year kinda sucked. so this year we are gonna do it big, bbq, water fight, and i'm making peach blueberry cobbler!
hopefully i DONT have to go to work...but other than that it should be an awesome day!
you're welcome to come over and enjoy it with us, but don't come empty handed lol.

OK GO

Where Have I been you may ask your self but, don't worry about all that baby.To start off I'm madly in love with this guy named Taylor..... dude is the fucking best. like think of the best you have ever met and he's way better than that. Thats my nigga. Metrosexuals are actually gay. Grow some chest hair and let that beard hang. i'm tired of these Clay Achen type dudes. changing gears does anyone have a copy of the Paris Hilton Sex tape? My bathroom is almost down, about a week more to go. I cant wait to have my mornings back to myself. Ehh thats all on my mind for now.

married with 2 kids @ 19?

on thursday, Erin & i went to melrose to hang out.
it was like 100 degrees, we were out of jamba juice and dying. so we start going into stores just because they have air conditioning. as we are walking this man asks us to look @ his clothes and tell him what we think.
he has air so we say sure.

all i see are rhinestones everywhere. he says that most of it is made with swarovski crystals. pshhh. we jokingly pick out the ugliest things to say they are cute and try to find a time to escape. he starts talking to some man and we try to sneak past. didn't work. he stops us and says there was something else. his uncle died and left him 4mil. but the only way he can get it is to get married by his next birthday. he says hes willing to split it with me. oh and we have to have 2 kids, and his birthday is next week.
this man is crazy....but if any of you are gold diggers, i am not against introducing u to him.....i get a finders fee : ).
anyways i thought that was unusual.
I'm low key bored right now. i need to get out the house but its too hot. i was supposed to go to the chiropractor but it was too far for me to drive in the heat. come visit me before work!

im just rambling now so im done. ciao!

happy fathers day.

Since its fathers day, I've been thinking about my dads. If u kno me/my complicated, disfunctional family, then u kno that I'm blessed enough to have 2 dads. For most of my life I clashed with my stepdad and thought my dad was awesome, even tho I barely saw him. In recent years it came out how many people tried to keep us from having a normal relationship, so we started an unconventional one.

But things have changed.

My stepdad and I are on the same page for once. He isn't trying to control me and he trusts me. We may not understand each other, but we have accepted our differences. Sadly, I have barely spoken to my real dad this year. He's let me down.

I've been struggling with the decision of calling him today. I went to the 8am service @ my church for the first time and it helped me decide. I'm going to call him.

Happy fathers day!

i actually have a topic for this one.

dreams.

most people love dreaming, but i don't. for about a year i would hope that i had a dream free night. i kno taylor has wonderful dreams that inspire him & his films. thats never the case anymore. in 07 every time i would have a dream it would be related to the same situation that i just couldn't seem to get over. the main issue was, when i thought i had moved on, i would have a dream that would make me wake up in just as much pain as when i was going thru the situation. i'm finally over that thank goodness. but this week i've been having dreams. they weren't all bad, in fact one was awesome but the others weren't, they've been all over the place. lately i have been dreaming about celebrities, ex best friends, best friends, enemies, enemies of my best friends, and other random things that make me wake up confuzzled. i would love to just have dreamless nights every night instead of my mind trying to interpret my day or tell me what my heart wants, or warn me of the future or whatever it is that dreams do.

oh yea! i finally got a job! yay

overview

these past couple of weeks have been...eventful.
miami. sex in the city. brazilian food. getting "busted". losing my bathroom and sleep. looking for a job. matinee's with taylor. six flags with alisha. burnt mission. LENDREK...hahahaha. piercings. GLOW IN THE DARK TOUR (amazing).
plus tons of laughter, baking & drinks.

hundreds of new memories, but no pictures. (my mom has kidnapped my camera until further notice)
i only regret 2 things, that i couldn't see a few more people that i miss, and that i never found out "chris browns" real name.
i dont really feel like typing anymore.
g'night

finally!

oh and i'm going 2 miami tomorrow! this should be interesting...

fustration

my mother is driving me crazy.
this happens every freakin summer!
someone give me a job so i can get away.
on a brighter note, i got my kick back!

how the tables have turned....

the past week has been redic, well wednesday was.
quick overview:
my computer has been out of comision for like 3 weeks and ive been home for 2. ite been tough living without my computer, but i wasn't cut off from the world, cause thats what my kick is for.
now for the updates,
had an interview so i'm waiting to hear back about my summer internship
and my back is reallllllly fucked up so now i'm going to the doctor 3x a week to fix it.
now for the interesting parts....
wednesday.
on my way to my doctors appt, i get into yet another car accident!
this woman is trying to blame me for her ignorance!
nobody was really hurt tho.....
so then i go to my appt (late.) and find out just how screwed up my back is.
after the appt i'm supposed to meet up with ashley (for the first time since i've been home) and go 2 coldstones.
for those who don't kno, ice cream makes everything better in my world.
as we are sitting outside, enjoying our ice cream and catching up on the past couple of months,
this stupid little tubby boy comes and snatches my sidekick, his friend snatches this other girls, and they hop into an suv all before you can say "snoopty poopty pants".
so this means that in ONE day, i had a car accident AND got my kick stolen.
WELCOME BACK TO LA!

but since then my luck has been very good and i must say that FRIDAY was awesome!
it was hot.
thats all i have to say about that.
in the meantime, call me if u need me cause as u kno im kickless for awhile.
im out!

CALIFORNIAAAAAA

I'm back. Been in LA for over a week but my computer has been out of comission for 2 weeks....so I'm writing on my kick until further notice.

I've had a lot on my mind lately tho. Comming home is always a stressful for me, its chaos all the way until I get on the plane, and then I feel free! No more stress or commitments. I had no boyfriend to leave or come home 2, no job in LA, and my apt will be there waiting for me when I return. So what do I have to worry about? Not much.

I just have to try NOT to make a move on my crush, try 2 find an internship, and dodge a few people who are making it really hard to move on from the past.

My only other problem is all the cutsey images I've been bombarded with lately. Weddings, bachelor parties, and bachelorette parties @ work, every movie is about love, weddings & babies (juno, baby mama, 27 dresses, forgetting sarah marshall) they make me want to settle down and be the girlfriend that I love to be. But on the other hand, my friends keep having boy issues and its not the best motivator. Everyone is being cheated on, breaking up, and then telling me about it. So where does that leave me? I'm a hopeless romantic disguised as a bitter black woman. Fun times.

On a brighter note, todays schedule consists of cleaning up, getting my nails done, going 2 the grove, watching movies, and then a house party where I plan on being drunk!
If u would like 2 come drink with me, come 2 5515 onacrest dr. Tonight! $1 shots allllll night! Yum!

i cant even be mad @ this...

its "different" but they don't sound too bad!
what do u think?