ending the life of a MG

i always have so much to say but no way to say them. the whole point of a blog is self expression, but as my twin once said " i don't kno how to start the hi". theres always so much to do and so many things going thru my mind. but the only way to start the hi is to say hi, so i might as well get it over with.
i wouldn't have guessed that moving to nashville would put me in contact with so many fake people, esp since im from LA. i can fake it with the best of em, but why would i want to?
in LA it makes sense, you act nice to get what u need, to network, thats it. out here it seems like you just have to be fake. and i dont see the point of that. and i feel like the longer im out here, the longer i have to pretend. im just ready to be real. i feel like Kanye in Pinocchio story. at the end of the day i would rather be real, not mean, and not have to pretend that i am friends with people im not friends with or that i like people that i wouldn't have had contact with in any other situation. but i kno im gonna need the votes in the near future. its only a year. Luckily i do have a handful of people i can be real with, all the time. and they are stuck in this fake world with me. plus i have people outside of fakeville who keep me sane.

sociology class.

i need these clips for class and its much easier if i post em all here....just ignore this post for a few day...thanx!

kill bill


saw scene


ms congenality

:(

this is one of my least favorite days of the year. i don't feel right if i don't have some kind of remorse about today. so if you see a sadness in my eyes, or you hear it in my voice, don't worry, I'll be back to normal tomorrow, i just need to be sad today.

its 9.50 am and its my m----er fu--in birthday!!!
im still intoxicated from last night and im excited to see what happens next!
i will share details later, i.e. after my birthday when im sober.
ciao!

4 days left.

i refuse to let someone else's pettiness/ issues/ depression/ anger/ etc. to indirectly affect me and my happiness. i believe everyone has their days, even weeks, but i wont let you slide for a month on anything other than the loss of a CAREER or a death of someone near to you.
i'm not the confrontational type, but there's only so much that i can let go before you either get cussed out or simply cease to exist. both reactions usually result in a swift termination of friendship.
that's just how i feel. if people keep trying to bring me down with them, i wont get mad or depressed like others, i will simply get rid of the negative influence.
remember kids, you probably need me more than i need you.

back to studying....

its cold, its sunday, these are my thoughts.

i woke up this morning with a feeling of impending doom.
(mayb i watch too much greys)
it makes me want to lock myself in my room for the rest of the week without contact with the outside world.
times are changing in wonderful ways and its scary.
we have a black president and i just filled up my gas tank, from E to FULL, with 27 dollars. that has never happened in to me since i started driving.
mayb the myans were right an the world is going to end soon.
...idk.
all i know is if it is, i don't wanna waste time being depressed like my surroundings are influencing me to be.
carpe diem.

6 days till my birthday!

unfinished thoughts.

this post will probably only make sense to me...and that's ok.
i'm sick of the transition. i wanna be there already. if i cant be there then i wanna go back to where i was. i just don't like HERE. i've heard you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket, but i don't want the other fish. pimpin' ain't easy my breezy. its amazing that something so unreal can have such an impact. its the power of an idea i guess. i spent all day gushing about love and in 2.5 seconds it turned into disgust. and then i remember that i'm supposed to love you. for those of you trying to understand me, don't. its not what it seems, it rarely is. unless you think i'm laughing at you, that might be true. why would i have cake if i couldn't eat it too? i'm over you on the inside, i just don't want to be over you deep down. i need to get over that. i was happy ALL day. i need to get these snacks on deck, but as much as i think i disserve them, i kinda don't want them. but i need birthday gifts. i think i need some PP too. dont try to guess those initials, you're guess is wrong. i'm not sure i'm the right one for the position but i kinda hope i am. unfortunately i'm tired of you but you're all i have to work with, so i grin and bare it knowing that i've done it before and that its only temporary. i expect too much.

had to add this!

my president is BLACK

Obama's speech ended minutes ago and i have tears in my eyes. Im proud of our country. we are ready for any and everything. today was a historic day that i am not going to forget. this is the first of many necessary changes.

YES WE CAN!!!!