unfinished thoughts.

this post will probably only make sense to me...and that's ok.
i'm sick of the transition. i wanna be there already. if i cant be there then i wanna go back to where i was. i just don't like HERE. i've heard you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket, but i don't want the other fish. pimpin' ain't easy my breezy. its amazing that something so unreal can have such an impact. its the power of an idea i guess. i spent all day gushing about love and in 2.5 seconds it turned into disgust. and then i remember that i'm supposed to love you. for those of you trying to understand me, don't. its not what it seems, it rarely is. unless you think i'm laughing at you, that might be true. why would i have cake if i couldn't eat it too? i'm over you on the inside, i just don't want to be over you deep down. i need to get over that. i was happy ALL day. i need to get these snacks on deck, but as much as i think i disserve them, i kinda don't want them. but i need birthday gifts. i think i need some PP too. dont try to guess those initials, you're guess is wrong. i'm not sure i'm the right one for the position but i kinda hope i am. unfortunately i'm tired of you but you're all i have to work with, so i grin and bare it knowing that i've done it before and that its only temporary. i expect too much.