new years eve

its in a few days and im not sure im ready.
i need a new years resolution (any suggestions?)
i dont have plans yet
AND i have to figure out how to be nice to some of the unfortunate people who go to my school while still saying "tuck you" to the people whom i have been holding back on. on the other hand, im sure they get the point by now because when i dont like someone, i dont try to hide it. back to the issue at hand, what should i do???
nobody knows what they're doing out here and even my parents have awesome plans...
i have some not so great memories of new years past and i wanna change that.


oh and just to rub it in everyones face erin (purp) and i are going to a LAKER game tonight!!!!

mia

sorry to those of you who actually read my blog. its been the longest 2.5 weeks EVERRRRRRRR!
ill try to explain what ive been up to very briefly....
FINALS
paper cuts
lost phones
no sleep
sickness
snow
studying
cheat sheets
step shows
plane rides
awkward situations
campaign stuff


THEN i came home
NO internet
still sick
rain
CRAZY MAN
-aye dios mio
ive been working with a performance coach for the past week and he is crazy!
i would have to deal with him for wayyyyyyy too many hours.
it is CLEAR from my previous posts, that i have a pretty low tolerance for
unnecessary people right about now...
plus his breath stinks.....
NO JOB (VS is on that ish)
and i still have barely spent time with my friends....

that being said, i survived and am thankful that its Christmas time. i got most of my shopping done and ive gotten to spend time with my family....

time to get back to a christmas story and making cookies (you better get em before they're gone taylor!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I'm sneaky

most people who meet me can tell that they don't wanna cross me because they can tell im capable of things. i'm a scorpio, i'm quick witted, jealous, and creative. i try not to use my powers for evil but people keep trying to push me to the dark side! here i am trying to be a good friend, trying to be nice, trying to stop cursing, and trying to be successful and females cant help but get mad over nothing! why are you so concerned with what im doing?!?
this happens to me too much for it to be a considence!
the thing is i don't expect EVERYONE to like me.
but i'm not a fake person and i appreciate it when the people i dislike/ those who dislike me, don't try to pretend like we're best friends. my #1 enemy and I really cant stand each other and if given the opportunity, on the right day, we could do some serious damage, but we have learned to co-exist peacefully and try to avoid each other. this fake bull crap that happens to people i USED to call my close friends is dumb. im not going to call you or run up and hug you when i see you because i kno that you were lying about me, talking ish, and/or plotting against me behind my back. im a PRO when it comes to catching the signs of the fake friend. i don't kno what brings it on, or what ive done to offend you, in the past its been over something dumb...a boy that they like, likes me or my hair is longer than theirs so they call me concieted etc etc but this just doesn't make sense.
yet again i'm thankful for those of you who are truthful and don't try to front. friendship is a two way street and i don't wanna use you or be used by you.
if any of my ex friends or fake friends are reading this and want to come clean, go for it. i promise it wont hurt my feelings.

weekly ramblings

as happy as i'm trying to be, i cant help but have a few moments of regret and sadness every now and then. i'm only human. i LOVE where my life is headed, but the present isnt moving fast enough and part of me misses the past.
so many things ended so quickly and so badly. that's the thing about me, i'm very go hard or go home. i don't half way do things, i'm either your friend or i'm not, you either exist or you don't. its nearly impossible to come back from not existing lol. once i cut someone out of my life, i don't answer their calls/ i change their name to don't answer, i block them on aim, facebook, and myspace, and if i see you walking i will walk the other way. as harsh as it sounds, its necessary. i haven't talked to or seen some people in over a year and i still miss them. that's no good. i've lost friends and family both because of death and because unhealthy one sided relationships needed to be terminated, regardless of how much i love a person, there is a time when you have to remove yourself from destructive people. i won't let you bring me down with you nor will i let you hold me back from success. its hard enough as it is to be me without the extra hazards that some people bring. so incase some of you people from the past stumble upon this blog, no hard feelings, it was fun while it lasted but deep down we both know that we couldn't remain in each others lives. mayb in the future, when we are both fully grown, happy, successful and maybe married with kids, we can be friends like we used to be, you wont be in my wedding like we used to think, and i don't plan to be in yours, if i'm even invited.

those of you who are my friends know that i appreciate you. i will go to great lengths for my real friends and cant wait to see what kind of random burnt missions we get into this Christmas break!
get ready for ice skating, mulligans, and of course the yearly bonfire!

its the most wonderful time of the year.

despite the obvious stress and drama that happens around the end of the school year, i've managed to come out of the past week fairly happy. i was able to get hostess to come help me with my TV (dorks are awesome), i finally got to play my wii, the victoria's secret fashion show came on, grey's anatomy came on and i got to go out with my twin! im exausted tho. drinking and partying and looking good is exausting. plus its time for finals, which im sure most of you are experiencing. i need to be studying but i cant stay awake! plus i need to work on my campaign! so much to do in so little time.
but ill be home in exactly a week! so no more cold weather, fake friends, or being hungry for 3 weeks! plus there is a new addition to our family that i cant wait to meet!

i kno my previous posts have been a little...angry to say the least. i'm over it tho, i said all i can say and i refuse to let other people to have a large affect on my happiness. i hope everyone else is able to to do the same. with that being said, good luck on finals and Christmas shopping!

they smile in your face...

I try not to hate people, but I still can't help but hate the things people continue to do.

I hate when people treat others differently because of situations their other friend has going on with the person.
If we were/are friends, don't let something that doesn't affect you, affect us. We all probably did this in high school...but since I'm in my 3rd year of college, I've grown out of that foolishness and I hope most of my friends have too. That being said, don't expect me to dislike someone simply because you don't like them.

Another issue, why are some people only your friend in large groups? I don't understand how to be considered a friend if we aren't really friends...aquantiance mayb, but not a friend. A friend is someone whom I can go to with a question/issue without worrying about being judged and they should feel comfortable to do the same.

These realizations have let me realize who my friends really are. Its great when u kno who ur friends are, but it sucks when u have to face who your friends aren't. At the end of the day, I've never had a hard time making friends and losing some of these people who have ben masquerading as friends of mine can't hurt me.

I guess I should start to pay more attn in class....ttyl

P.S. I finally stayed on topic! Yay me

more than a distant memory

electric blankets. silent night. early dinner. noel. iridescent hearts. mary poppins. taco bell commercial. 11 o clock news. kings corner. looney toons. ramen noodles. butterflies. double bed. purple tile. puzzles. routine.

miss you.
love you.
forever.