weekly ramblings

as happy as i'm trying to be, i cant help but have a few moments of regret and sadness every now and then. i'm only human. i LOVE where my life is headed, but the present isnt moving fast enough and part of me misses the past.
so many things ended so quickly and so badly. that's the thing about me, i'm very go hard or go home. i don't half way do things, i'm either your friend or i'm not, you either exist or you don't. its nearly impossible to come back from not existing lol. once i cut someone out of my life, i don't answer their calls/ i change their name to don't answer, i block them on aim, facebook, and myspace, and if i see you walking i will walk the other way. as harsh as it sounds, its necessary. i haven't talked to or seen some people in over a year and i still miss them. that's no good. i've lost friends and family both because of death and because unhealthy one sided relationships needed to be terminated, regardless of how much i love a person, there is a time when you have to remove yourself from destructive people. i won't let you bring me down with you nor will i let you hold me back from success. its hard enough as it is to be me without the extra hazards that some people bring. so incase some of you people from the past stumble upon this blog, no hard feelings, it was fun while it lasted but deep down we both know that we couldn't remain in each others lives. mayb in the future, when we are both fully grown, happy, successful and maybe married with kids, we can be friends like we used to be, you wont be in my wedding like we used to think, and i don't plan to be in yours, if i'm even invited.

those of you who are my friends know that i appreciate you. i will go to great lengths for my real friends and cant wait to see what kind of random burnt missions we get into this Christmas break!
get ready for ice skating, mulligans, and of course the yearly bonfire!